Dirty Dozen
Friday, Mar. 07, 2003
8:57 a.m.
Last night, in bed, Greg & I started talking about masturbation. Did he ever masturbate to the thought of me before we were ever together? Yes. What about any other girls that we both know? Becky? Well, yeah. Harriet? Once. Lorraine? Too skinny. Beth? Duh, yeah. Steph? Yep. "Oh, and your friend, Lora, too." Hahahaha! My friend, who he met AFTER we were together. "I was hoping that at the Halloween party, you would both get drunk and end up in the tent with me." What? Why didn't he tell me then? Maybe I could have done something about it! Of course, at that same party, Beth was setting her sights on me. So many people were desiring other people and I had to fucking clue! I can be so dense sometimes.
Then I thought, "I know of at least 3 people who masturbate to the thought of me on a semi-regular basis." So, since I know of 3, it's probably more like 12. So Greg and I came up with a list of 12 men who probably jerk off to thoughts of me:
1. Greg--yeah, he better!
2. Bryan--since he tells me he does
3. Andy--no doubt about that; he had his chance and fucking blew it...moron
4. Frank--even though he would never admit it
5. Tim--since he was trying to whore all over me all the ever-loving time
6. Brantley--I'm sure
7. Marty--since we spent years flirting with one another
8. Jason--because his wife sucks
9. Bill--since I'm his type and we get along
10. Matt--we haven't slept together since senior year of high school, but Greg said that when he met him on Christmas, he really got that vibe
11. Greg's nephew--as frightening as that may be to me, it's probably true
12. Greg's brother-in-law--not quite as frightening...he's a pretty cool guy
Then, we thought of a few more...Randy, Jimmy (of course, both of them probably also think about Greg!).
And, of course, Beth! Even though she's a woman.
And now I feel awesome, powerful, and sexual!
So, girls...think of 12 people who think you are attractive, who flirt with you, or are even just friendly. And those 12 people probably masturbate to thoughts of you. Really, think of 12.
Miss One?
Moving On - Wednesday, Sept. 05, 2007
I remembered my password - Friday, Jul. 20, 2007
I need someone - Thursday, Apr. 20, 2006
I miss him - Tuesday, Apr. 18, 2006
Possibly the worst weekend of my life? - Sunday, Apr. 16, 2006
