I need someone

Thursday, Apr. 20, 2006
9:35 p.m.

He looks better and sounds better. Mostly. He said he had a bad depressing day today. But then the doctor upped his Zoloft dosage. They were originally giving him the dosage one would normally give to a 120-pound person. Um, hello? He's 380 pounds! He needs a lot more meds!

I thought he was going to be discharged tomorrow. But it looks like they are keeping him until Sunday or Monday and then transferring him to an inpatient drug rehab program for 7-10 days. And it will probably be someplace on the Eastern Shore. WTF?

I know he needs it and I know he has to do this all the way in order to be successful. But I miss him a lot. And I'm really getting stressed out. I need more intimate emotional support, preferrably from someone who has BTDT. I'm telling almost everyone I know about what's going on. And it helps, it really does. It's much better than trying to keep it all a secret. But it's hard to go through something so serious and heavy without my best friend. He's the one I normally count on. And he's going through even more shit than I am. My mom is really good about supporting me, but she has not been in my shoes. I need to find someone IRL who has been where I am. Who has come out victorious on the other side. I'm so afraid of the future.

I found that there are Nar-Anon meetings on Monday evenings near me. I think I will go next week. I need someone. I feel kind of like I'm starting to fray at the seams.

past - future

Miss One?

Moving On - Wednesday, Sept. 05, 2007
I remembered my password - Friday, Jul. 20, 2007
I need someone - Thursday, Apr. 20, 2006
I miss him - Tuesday, Apr. 18, 2006
Possibly the worst weekend of my life? - Sunday, Apr. 16, 2006

baby gaga