7 Thoughts
Friday, Dec. 27, 2002
8:34 a.m.
Here are a few things that are on my mind this morning:
1. Frank was exceptionally nice yesterday. We talked about work stuff and then non-work stuff, too. That hasn't happened in quite a few months. But it's probably because negative Kathy is off for the holidays.
2. I told Nikki what happened between me & Frank (and Bob and Michelle). And it actually made me feel better about the whole situation. I hate feeling animosity towards Frank and I hate the tension between us. But it's there, and I think it may be necessary. OK, now I just feel like I'm talking out my ass. I don't know how to feel about the Frank situation, so I try not to think about it most of the time. I don't know how to fix it, either, because (for once) I feel like I'm in the wrong, but there is nothing I can do to change the feelings I have. I have tried to examine it from every side & my feelings don't change one single bit. It all comes down to respect. I have loads of respect for Frank, but absolutely NONE for his wife. If it were possible, I would have negative respect for her.
3. Speaking of not respecting women, I have no respect for her, for Greg's wife, or for Mikey's wife. Is this what happens to wives or were they just retarded people to start with? I hope it's the latter, or I feel as if I may be doomed!
4. Laying in bed with Greg is the ONLY thing I wanted to do this morning. I did not want to get up for work, I did not want him to get up for work. I just wanted to lay in bed, naked, all day long! Not only was it an emotional desire today, it somehow also crossed over to a physical hunger and a spiritual need. I hate to be away from Greg! I fall in love with him more and more every day!
5. My dad called me last night and thanked me for the gift card to Macaroni Grill & then said he appreciated the fact that I took the time to get something that they really like, that I considered their interests. Uh, duh! I learned from the best, Dad!!! Oh, and I sent a Christmas card to my step-mom's father and my dad happened to see it when he was over there on Christmas and I think it meant a lot to him (my dad, at least, and probably my grandfather). For some reason, my dad was just really amazed that I was thinking of others? Maybe that's it? My mom has always said things along those lines..."You're so generous," "You are always thinking of your brothers & sisters," etc. But for my dad to start up on this kick is weird. And why are they so surprised? I learned it from them!!! Plus, being the oldest of 5 kids makes me always keep an eye out for them. And for other people in my life, by proxy.
6. Beth wanted to do something with Greg & me tonight and she called my cell phone a million times this week. But after we called her back last night, she got weird & yeah, just weird. And she didn't call us back, once she called her husband. (Beth is the woman that Greg is extremely attracted to...I mean, besides me, and he had a 3-some years ago with Beth & husband. And now Greg talks about me hooking up with her. I don't know! She is very attractive, but I'm not sure how I feel about the whole thing. Would I do it because I was curious? Probably. Because I want to please Greg? Probably. Because I really want to do it? Probably not.)
7. Because of Christmas, my baby yearning has doubled. ACK!!! Greg needs to hurry up & get divorced! And then we can get married & have kids. Or have kids and get married. Whichever. I just don't want him to be married to that stupid cunt bitch anymore!!!
Miss One?
Moving On - Wednesday, Sept. 05, 2007
I remembered my password - Friday, Jul. 20, 2007
I need someone - Thursday, Apr. 20, 2006
I miss him - Tuesday, Apr. 18, 2006
Possibly the worst weekend of my life? - Sunday, Apr. 16, 2006
