My Flaws
Thursday, Nov. 14, 2002
7:32 a.m.
Who is this Kristy Myst? A porn star? I keep getting hits from searches with these two words. What the fuck?
I got a wonderful chuckle this morning regarding giveliness.
I went straight to Greg's last night from work & actually got there about 10 minutes before him. That was strangely nice. The door was unlocked & all (um, when is it locked?), so I was able to let his dog out & clean up a little in his room. And then he got home & was like, "I need to let the dog out." And I was able to reply, "Why? He just came in!" You know, in a half-snotty, half-nice voice.
We caught up on this week's Sopranos (missed it on Sunday because I was drving home & buzzing) & it was so freakin insane!!! What a crazy-ass episode!!!
Then, the rest of the evening, Greg kept talking about stuff in the future & how he was so lucky to have me, blah blah blah, and I think he ended up crying about 6 or 8 times. Hmmmm...he seems to think I'm perfect & I can tell you, I am sooooo not! I still have lots of issues myself, most of them stemming from far too many years with heroin addict Asshole. Like, for one, I am a codependant. Also, I'm an alcoholic, but at this point, I'm able to manage it. I have trust issues (i.e. I don't really trust anyone but myself). And then I freak out at little things that resemble the behavior of a heroin addict--I get shivers when anyone slurs their words, I can't deal with anyone nodding off for no reason, I hate the fucked-up one-eye-open, one-eye-shut look. Plus, I expect a lot out of people (mostly myself, but also others), I'm an aggressive driver, I cuss too much, I smoke too much, I can slip up & get very negative (I try very very hard to be a positive person & it usually works), I have a short temper, etc (I could list things all day). So, it feels very uncomfortable having someone think I'm perfect when I know I have so many flaws.
We also laid in bed, talking about babies and then started bouncing girls' names off of one another. Ones we could agree on: Guinevere, Morgan (or a variant), Persephone, Alice, Seven, Summer. Horrible names he came up with: Izabeta, Felice, Fey, Fire (too much teasing). Fantastic names he vetoed: Athena, Rhiannon, Flame. We kept throwing out names as we fell asleep, so I forget a lot of them.
Miss One?
Moving On - Wednesday, Sept. 05, 2007
I remembered my password - Friday, Jul. 20, 2007
I need someone - Thursday, Apr. 20, 2006
I miss him - Tuesday, Apr. 18, 2006
Possibly the worst weekend of my life? - Sunday, Apr. 16, 2006
