My dad
Tuesday, Sept. 10, 2002
8:44 p.m.
My dad called me this evening & it got me to thinking about my relationship with him...
My parents seperated when I was 3...well, really, my dad left. So I have absolutely no memories of them together. Some days, I like that, since there's nothing to miss. But other days, I hate it, since there's nothing to miss.
From the age of 3 until the age of 11, I stayed with my dad every other weekend. When I was 11, we moved out of state, so I saw him for about a month in the summer & a week at Christmas every year until I was 18. From 18 to 21, I saw him for about a week in the summer and 2 or 3 days at Christmas (as much time as I could get off work). Since then, which was 5 years ago, I've seen him very little. Like, 3 years ago, I saw him for 2 days at a family reunion. In January, my step-mom flew me out for his 50th birthday & I only stayed for 3 days. I saw him in June, when he came out here, to help my sister move & that was only, like, a day & a half.
So, since he & I have seen each other so sporadically, we haven't gotten to know each other like my mom & I have. My mom & I have been through thick & thin...fighting, far too many sex talks when I was a teenager, talks about drinking when I was in college, my tendency for bosiness, etc. She knows me better than I know myself.
But, strangely enough, I am a lot like my father. I think it may just be genetics, because I certainly didn't pick any of this stuff up from being around him. Such as:
1. When I was 7 or 8, I proudly announced to the world that I was going to me an architect. My dad was taken a little by surprise, because that was also his dream, even though I knew nothing of it at the time. Neither of us ever became architects, but we do tend to be drawn to similar occupations.
2. We both do a lot of training--his is more external sales & mine is more internal service, but our jobs are quite alike. And we were even talking tonight about "Train the Trainer" courses, which I'm dying to go to!
3. Since I was about 13, my mom has been telling me I have a lot of the same mannerisms as my father. I waltz into a room the same way, I stand the same way, I put my index finger along my cheek & my middle finger on my lip (in an L shape) when I'm deep in thought the same way. It's weird & I think it's taken my mom by surprise quite a few times.
4. Back in January, we were running errands & we drove past one road & I commented that the street name was spelled wrong (I only knew this because the development sign & the street name were the same, but they were spelled differently, so one of them had to be wrong!). I pointed this out to my dad & he cracked up. Apparently, he said the exact same thing to my step-mom when they first moved in & NO ONE else they knew had even noticed it! (When we told my step-mom, she cracked up even more, cause she's always pointing out the weird things only he & I do.)
And since I haven't lived in the same house as him for the past 23 years (which is currently 88% of my life), we haven't gotten to know each other in the same way that my mom & I do. So we are still learning strange quirks about each other. Like, this evening, I found out that my dad is the same type as me: INFJ! And he's also addicted to personality quizzes! I think it's all part of this inner driving force we both have to know ourselves as much as possible and to be the best selves we can possibly be. My dad's all "motivational speaker"-y; I haven't quite gotten to that point yet...give me another 10 years!
Miss One?
Moving On - Wednesday, Sept. 05, 2007
I remembered my password - Friday, Jul. 20, 2007
I need someone - Thursday, Apr. 20, 2006
I miss him - Tuesday, Apr. 18, 2006
Possibly the worst weekend of my life? - Sunday, Apr. 16, 2006
