I Feel Greedy
Monday, Nov. 24, 2003
6:15 p.m.
First of all, thanks for all the comments on the banner.
Second: Read this!
I've been thinking lately that it's awesome to be wanted & desired & all that. But I'm starting to feel greedy. Like, a lot of desire is directed my way & what did I do to deserve it all? I mean, I think I'm a pretty cool person to hang out with. But I don't think I'm really all that pretty. And I don't like my belly and I don't like my ugly neck (inherited from my mean evil Satan grandmother). I just feels like I'm being rewarded for doing nothing. Nothing! Just being me. Weird.
There's a management position posted at my job. For the department I used to work in (well, sort of, the department is now being split in two because it's getting so big) and it's the department that I'm doing all kinds of training for right now. And the department that's dear to my heart (I feel like they're my babies...never mind that most of them are older than me). I'm totally qualified, except for the fact that I have very little management experience. Not none. Just very little. I'm sure the pay is more. But do I want this right now? I know I will want it in 3-4 years. But, now? When I plan on getting married in 3 months? And plan to start having kids within the next 12-18 months? Am I the right person, in that respect? There is another woman at work who I think would be great for the job. Her kids are all grown up. And there's another woman who doesn't have any kids who I think would be excellent. And one more, but she's pregnant right now. Do I want the headache & hassle? Will it be more headache than I have right now? Probably just a little more. I already deal with tons of bullshit, so I'm up to speed on that. And it will probably be the same amount of travel. Hmmmmm...I just don't know if I want to take it on now. I mean, for the past 5 years, all I wanted to do was move up, move up. I was dating a fucking addict & that relationship was going nowhere, I knew I wouldn't marry him or have kids with him. So I focused on advancement. But now...marriage and children seem so much more important to me than getting promoted.
Miss One?
Moving On - Wednesday, Sept. 05, 2007
I remembered my password - Friday, Jul. 20, 2007
I need someone - Thursday, Apr. 20, 2006
I miss him - Tuesday, Apr. 18, 2006
Possibly the worst weekend of my life? - Sunday, Apr. 16, 2006
