Birth Story
Monday, Feb. 21, 2005
8:12 p.m.
On Wednesday, 02/09/05, I had an appointment with my midwife. Upon internal exam, she said I was about 50% effaced and 2 cm dilated. She sent me over to L&D for a NST and Cervidil. She gave me a dose of Cervidil (it was bright blue!) and the nurses then monitored me with the NST machine. I was having no scary contractions and the baby�s heartbeat sounded fine. However, the nurses were a little stressed because their machine had not gotten good readings (i.e. it was broken or the sensors were placed incorrectly). I ended up arguing with them and left AMA.
That evening, I started to get bad cramps off and on. I was thinking, �Hey, the Cervidil is doing something!� By about 9:30 PM, they were coming regularly and felt more like contractions. At the time, they were 5-10 minutes apart and only a little painful. That night, I slept off and on, waking with each contraction and then sleeping in between. In the morning, I was able to sleep for a few hours. Greg says I moaned through each contraction just as I did while awake!
During the day, I watched episode after episode of Birth Story. Talk about masochism! I don�t recommend that to anyone. Also, Greg tried to get my contractions to be stronger, so we practiced nipple stimulation all day. It made my contractions stronger and closer together, but only as long as he was stimulating my nipples.
That evening, around 11 PM, I thought, �Hey, I�ve been in labor for over 24 hours. I feel like I�m getting closer.� So I met the midwife on call at around 1 AM on Friday morning. I was Janine, who is the same midwife I saw on Wednesday. She did an internal exam and determined that I was still only 2 cm dilated, but I had reached 90% effacement. I was so frustrated that all those contractions hadn�t resulted in something more dramatic! However, Greg and I decided to go home and continue labor there. The night, my labor slowed down some and I was able to sleep for several hours.
On Friday, the contractions became stronger and during each one, I wanted to stand up and walk around; otherwise, I was miserable. I spent most of the day, pacing the floor and reading a book. That night, I tried to let Greg sleep, so I slept on the couch in the living room, in 6-minute stretches. I woke up to moan and breathe through each contraction, and then fell back to sleep. I also had the TV on and caught short increments of some really funny middle-of-the-night shows.
Saturday during the day was much the same as Friday, though I was expecting my body to give me a sign that �It�s Time!� By dinnertime, Greg was getting really worried, because I was beginning to exhibit signs of exhaustion. At about 9 PM, we went to the miwives� office and met up with Suz, who was the midwife on duty. She performed an internal exam and determined that I was totally effaced and 4 cm dilated. But the baby�s head was a little high. I was thinking, �Thank God! I�ve made some progress!�
So we decided to labor in the birthing center (the plan all along). Greg brought in my bags while I walked around for awhile. My mom and sister, Kath, showed up about an hour later. I walked around some, then sat on the birthing ball for awhile. Kath wanted to play cards, so we made it through 2 rounds of Rummy before the contractions were really distracting me. I walked around a lot for a couple more hours. Walking really brought me a lot of relief.
Around midnight, Suz wanted me to get into the tub because she thought at that point, the relaxation might actually help my labor to progress. I was also developing a low-grade fever, but she was just going to keep an eye on it. The tub was absolutely amazing! The heat and water and jets relaxed me so much. Contractions were a breeze while I was in the tub. I also had the lights turned off, so I was able to doze between contractions. I told Greg that when we have our dream house built, we were getting a tub exactly like that one! Suz came in awhile later to check on me and my temperature was higher. She was getting worried, so she let some of the warm water out of the tub and added lots of cool water. I didn�t like being in the tub with cool water, but it was better than being out of the tub.
Suz came back several minutes later and said my fever had her worried and she wanted to admit me to the hospital. I was unsure if that was a good decision, so I looked to Greg. He was OK with the decision, so I went along with it (I would have been admitted eventually, anyway, for other reasons, so it was all OK). Suz also did another internal exam and I had not made very much progress; I was 5, maybe 6, cm dilated. I got out of the tub with my mom�s and Greg�s help and put on my sweatpants and bathrobe. I was so cold and shivering by then. Suz helped me into a wheelchair while Greg, my mom, and Kath got our things together.
Suz wheeled me through the �secret� basement that connected the hospital�s wings together. It was so strange, because that was my first wheelchair ride ever and I couldn�t see any of them behind me and I was so confused. I was also worried that I would have a contraction while in the wheelchair...I knew it would be so uncomfortable. At one point, I did, but it wasn�t as bad as I thought it would be, which really confused me.
Suz wheeled me up to a Labor and Delivery room on the 2nd floor. I changed into a hospital gown (mainly because I would rather get the hospital�s clothes dirty!). Again, I walked around a little bit, because that was the only thing I wanted to do! Oh, I remember we got to the room at about 2 AM. Then my mom hid the clock because she knew it would be a distraction for me.
Suz recommended that I get on my hands and knees, since the baby was still posterior. The L&D bed converted into an almost chair and there was a circular cutout for my belly; it�s like it was made for hands-and-knees labor! Once I was on my hands and knees, the contractions started coming on really really really strong. Greg was behind me, rubbing my back, etc. With each contraction, I got up on my knees and he had to hold me up so I could relax my body; that was the only position I could deal with!
At some point, a couple of nurses came in and gave me an IV and hooked me up to the external monitor. After awhile of the hands-and-knees contractions, I had to get up and walk around because they were almost too much to deal with! So, I was continually unplugging the external monitor!
At some point, I got into the shower. The warm water felt so good on my back; I guess I had been having contractions in my back, but I could barely feel them, since the front contractions were so strong. Also, my own L&D nurse, Amy, came in at some time. She was great! She and my mom both took over for Greg with helping me through contractions. But she annoyed me a little bit, because she was continually trying to hold the external monitor for the baby�s heartbeat to my belly as I was trying to deal with contractions. I just could not deal with the interference! Oh, and Greg reminded me that someone asked me to rate my pain on a scale of 1-10 and I said full-scale labor was a 7! A 7! That cracks Greg up...he warned later nurses that I tended to underestimate my pain!
The hands-and-knees mixed with the walking feels like it took forever to me. Around dawn or so (I remember the sunlight coming through the windows), Suz came back and did another internal exam. I think I was about 6 cm dilated and I was totally exhausted. She suggested pitocin and an epidural. Those sounded like excellent ideas to me at the time. I didn�t know how much longer I could deal with labor!
So the first of my two anesthesiologists came in. He had no personality whatsoever and had a rather gruff manner, but I didn�t care; besides, Amy walked me through what he was doing and she let me lean on her. She was such a skinny girl; I was surprised that she could support my weight! The epidural was not as bad as I thought it would be. For the first 5 seconds, it felt like bees stinging me inside my spine, but then it went away. It felt like the anesthesiologist kept poking me with needles, but I couldn�t feel them. One time when he poked me, I could feel it in my right inner thigh, which made me marvel on the nature of human nerves.
Once the epidural was in, the pitocin was hooked up and the external monitors were put in place. I felt all of 3 contractions once I had the epidural. I could finally lie down and relax! And after how many days? A little later, Amy inserted a catheter, which I couldn�t feel at all. I never even thought that I would need a catheter with an epidural! But it makes sense...I could not feel the urge to pee, so I�m sure I would have ended up peeing all over the place. I really liked the epidural because it made my lower half numb, but I could still move my legs around; it just felt like really severe carpal tunnel in my legs!
Then I fell asleep. Greg and my mom both staked out spots to sleep, too. Kath had fallen asleep prior to my epidural (through all of my moaning, too; I�m not sure how she did it!). My mom says I was moaning with each contraction during my sleep. She asked me if I was having a contraction and I slurred, �Yeah�, and then quieted down. She figured I probably didn�t need anything from her! Greg says I slept for about an hour and a half, while he and my mom didn�t get quite as much sleep.
So, at some point in the morning, Suz came in and checked me again. I was at 8 cm but the baby�s head was still a little high. She was concerned because I was getting rather high levels of pitocin and she expected me to be ready to push. So, she broke my bag of waters; Greg says it looked like a 2-liter bottle gushing all over the place. I had a lot of amniotic fluid, so we expected it. There was a small amount of meconium, but that was to be expected, since I was one day shy of 42 weeks.
Apparently, right after she broke my waters, the baby�s heartrate plummeted, so Suz hooked up an internal monitor. The baby�s heartrate returned to normal, so all was fine. Suz decided to give me some more time to see what would happen.
I started to feel really down; I felt like an ill patient and not a pregnant patient. I was hooked up to so many machines - external monitor, internal monitor, IV, continual BP cuff, epidural, and catether - that I felt out of control. I remember crying with Greg and my mom and them consoling me. I was hoping that I would hurry up and dilate completely so that I could push. I was also thinking about, �What if I end up with a c-section?� It was very overwhelming.
About an hour later, Suz came and checked me again. I had made no progress - I was still at 8 cm, the baby�s head was still high, and he was posterior. She said to me, �I think you�re bordering on exhaustion. We may have to deliver him the other way.� She said those words - �the other way�. I agreed to it, because I had spent the previous hour weighing and deciding what to do. I looked at Greg and just started crying and crying. This was not the labor I wanted! This was not the labor I had planned! But what else could we do? It seemed like if I didn�t have a c-section then, I would end up with an emergency c-section. It was Sunday and I had been in labor since Wednesday! I was so tired and I wanted to be done. I did not want to be in labor anymore!
Once I agreed to the c-section, everything happened really quickly. Another anesthesiologist came in and she was so nice and personable that at first, I thought she was a nurse! She explained what she was going to do, in a very general sense. Greg got into scrubs. Suz�s backup ob/gyn, Dr. L, came in to tell me what he would do, surgery-wise. And he diagnosed the reason for the c-section as CPD. That made me so MAD at the time! This was not a case of CPD!!! Sure, the baby�s head was big, but I have really wide hips! I�m not a skinny minnie! I could have pushed him out...eventually! I was thinking that my surgery was going to be erroneously reported as CPD and it made me so angry. Grrrrrrr!
Anyway, my daytime nurse (forget her name), Suz, Dr. L, and the anesthesiologist (forget her name, too) wheeled me down to OR. The hallways were so cold and felt wonderful. I didn�t even know I was warm! And the OR was positively freezing, so I thought it felt great! Everyone helped me onto the OR table, which was a joke! I couldn�t feel my legs from the epi and the OR table is, I swear, all of 2 inches wide. I thought I was about to fall off the far side and they all kept telling me to scoot closer to the middle. Apparently, that means, �fit the entire width of your body to the entire width of the table�.
Greg came in a few minutes later. I remember looking up at him once, being glad he was there, and then totally forgetting he was there. The anes walked me through everything she was doing. She had taped a tube up my back and was giving me spinal drugs through the epi spot. As she injected each dose of drugs, I felt a coldness going down my back and then 30 seconds later, I felt more numb. While she was numbing me, I freaked out. I could feel my legs and they felt hot and heavy and prickly and it felt horrible. I couldn�t lay on the OR table for an hour with my legs feeling like that! And I had such back pain at the epi site! It hurt so bad and I was so uncomfortable and scared! I was saying, �I can�t do this. I can�t do this.� I was willing to be pregnant forever...I just knew I could not go through surgery! Suz and the anes talked to me, saying, �Yes, you can. Yes, you can.� What did they know?!?!? I could not do it!!! Looking back, I equate this to the Transition stage; I just hadn�t really expected a transition stage, since I was having a c-section. After about 30 seconds (or forever, to me), more of the numbing drug hit and I couldn�t feel my legs at all. And the pain in my back went away. I calmed down and I was like, �I can do this.�
Dr. L began surgery, after testing my belly to see what I could feel. As he was getting the baby out, he pushed really hard on my belly and I said over and over again, �Pressure. Pressure.� I think saying it made it easier to deal with. And in my head was that old song, �Under pressure...duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh...under pressure.� As Dr. L was about to pull out the baby, someone set up a mirror over my head so I could see him be born. I could tell that my incision was a little small and his head was so big; my skin was stretching and it looked like he was having trouble getting the baby out. Greg says Dr. L had to use vacuum suction to get the head out; I couldn�t see that from my angle, though. Dr. L pulled out the baby�s head and started to suction immediately, since there was meconium. And that head was the most beautiful, amazing thing I had ever seen. I was also very relieved that there was actually a baby inside! I know I looked up at Greg with tears in my eyes; I think he was crying, too. I was so relieved to finally have him out of me. Dr. L pulled the rest of his body out and they whisked him away to the corner. Already, I knew he was so beautiful and perfect. Greg went with the baby. I think Suz left at some point, too, so the only person left at my head was the awesome anes, who kept talking to me and keeping my spirits up. She was great! While Dr. L was pushing out the placenta, I could hear the baby screaming and crying. It was music to my ears! I was so happy to hear it!!!
Falcon was born at 12:22 PM on Sunday, February 13th...87 hours after labor started! He was 10 pound, 3 ounces and measured 20.5 inches long (although I think it was longer, since the doctor couldn�t get him to stretch out his legs).
Greg and the baby left for the recovery room and Dr. L stitched me up. Near the end, I was shivering a lot. I heard someone say that was common after surgery. Everyone in the room managed to hoist me from the OR table to a hospital bed. Thank goodness, because there was no way I was able to move the lower half of my body by that point! I was wheeled into the recovery room at about 1 PM.
Immediately, Greg handed me my son and I wanted to nurse him as soon as possible. So I put him to my breast and he latched on perfectly the first time! He nursed for about 5 minutes on each side. I touched him all over and talked to him. I could not believe we made someone so perfect! I couldn�t believe that I had my son! Not only did I have 87 hours of labor, but I also had 42 weeks of pregnancy, and I waited for years in order to be at the right spot in my life. It felt like the end of such a long wait!
The recovery room nurses removed all of the machines and bells and whistles attached to me, with the exception of the IV and the catheter. I also got a little bit of demerol to reduce my shivering. After an hour in the recovery room, we were allowed to leave. I was wheeled up to the third floor, which is where the postnatal hospital rooms were located. I get to hold on to my son as I was being wheeled. I was so elated! I remember passing a dad and daughter in the hallway and waving to them! My mom and Kath and my step-dad were waiting in my room when we arrived. Once I was settled into my new hospital bed, we passed around the baby. After awhile, my family left and Greg and I were alone with our son. I think we spent the whole afternoon just marveling at our child. Around 5 PM, we started making phone calls. Greg called his nephew, who is 15, and let his nephew tell everyone else in his family. I�m sure his nephew was tickled, because he worships Greg. I called my dad and step-mom. I also called my boss; she was so drunk, which I thought was hilarious! She asked me the same questions over and over again. And then she told me she loved me...3 times!
During the first night, I slept on and off, mainly because I was so excited to have my baby! All of the rooms were rooming-in and there was no nursey (except for the NICU), so I didn�t have to fight with anyone to have my baby with me at all times, which was great! The baby slept with Greg for part of the night, too, in the rocking chair.
On Monday, my 24-hour morphine ran out and I started to feel rough. Also, the catheter was removed (yaaaaay!), as was the IV. Finally, I was totally human again and no longer hooked up to machines! I also made Greg give me a sponge bath, which felt amazing. And in the evening, I really wanted to have my hair washed, so I stood up in the shower, with a towel over my incision, and he washed my hair for me. That was the best feeling ever.
Monday night was so short, because the baby slept for 6 hours straight! What?!?!?! I was so surprised! We all fell asleep around midnight and he didn�t wake up until 6:30 AM!
On Tuesday, I struggled with healing and getting through the pain of surgery. I was (and am) really annoyed that I had to have surgery in order to have my child. Recovering from surgery is rough. During the first several days, I had pain in one of my internal incisions; I hated that feeling! I tried to stay out of bed and spent a lot of the day in the rocking chair. Greg also convinced me to walk around the hallway; I managed one full lap of the third floor. By the evening, I was itching to go home. I was still in pain and I was quite tired, but I thought I could recover better at home. Dr. L came in to check my incision at around 10 PM and he said I could leave the next morning. �Or tonight, if you want.� Um, yeah!!! Since the baby already had the OK to be discharged, we told our nurse to discharge us. I think we finally made it out around 1 AM. All of the nurses were saying it was so unusual (read: weird) to discharge someone in the middle of the night. But I didn�t care...I wanted to go home!!!
We finally got home around 2 AM on Wednesday morning and crashed, all three of us together in bed.
Miss One?
Moving On - Wednesday, Sept. 05, 2007
I remembered my password - Friday, Jul. 20, 2007
I need someone - Thursday, Apr. 20, 2006
I miss him - Tuesday, Apr. 18, 2006
Possibly the worst weekend of my life? - Sunday, Apr. 16, 2006
